To the Girl Trying to Read My Notebook (this is not what I am writing in that notebook) | KKUURRTT

yes im aware its in your field of vision and thats my bad but for goddsakes i am not going to show you what i am writing in here. trust its not about you. i dont even know you. and the reason im writing anything in a notebook and not saying it out loud is because its mine to keep and maybe if people shut the fuck up every once in a while and wrote down one fifth of their brain activity instead of instantaneously bursting it out loud into casual conversation the world would be a better place. sure sure what the fuck do i think im doing scrawling away in this pad at 6:00 in the morning, sun coming up behind us, house music bumping from speakers in front, surrounded by friends, drugs in each and every one of our systems and more if you’re offering. i should for all intents and purposes be engaged and entertained, but i’m not and writing in my notebook is much more in line with what id rather be doing, caught in my own thoughts and capturing them to not get lost to the ultimate distraction, perhaps pushing well past good taste of social interactions and id just be better fucking right off and shutting down this antisocial behavior so as to really be in the moment, but this is my version of that ram dass quote. music is an inspiration. writing is now but i shouldn't have to stop because some girl i dont know is irked that im not paying attention to her. nor should i have to say any of this to justify my behavior. maybe this is flirting but we should have left that long ago at the playground. was there a boy there who sat by himself writing stories too? he and i? we are fine being alone with our thoughts. maybe you should try it sometime.


📔 KKUURTT is glad you read his thing. His novel Good at Drugs is forthcoming on Back Patio Press. He can be found on twitter at @wwwkurtcom.