it’s November 21st now
there is a novel JRPG battle system walking through the kitchen
breaking things
nevermind, that’s rudy johnson
kill rudy johnson
[rudy johnson must survive]
>kill rudy johnson
you are too far away to do that
if you want to fight rudy johnson
come up to hallam circle
in malone, ny
“brown house, green car out front”
that’s what rudy johnson writes
in a love note to a pizza delivery girl
rudy johnson loves the pizza, anyway
having an orgasm
eyes closed
eating garbage food
that will eventually
kill rudy johnson
nooooo
this poem is progress for rudy johnson
because everytime rudy johnson wants to say the “gamer word”
the white sheets word
the n-word
rudy johnson writes ‘rudy johnson’ instead
we don’t want rudy johnsons in our schools
we’re not for integration
rudy johnson is for integration of augmented reality elements
in everything
rudy johnson’s life is augmented reality
insubstantial things coming to life through a mechanical lens
a lens that will eventually
kill rudy johnson
or just cut rudy johnson a little
slack
slack jawed rudy johnson
“i love big pharma”
says one of rudy johnson’s 3 tshirts
one that isn’t the confederate one
two people who aren't the malone village police who can subdue rudy johnson—
the big buck rudy johnson rudy johnson—
can’t subdue anyone right now
for they are dead
ate up by the wages of rudy johnson
rudy johnson gets paid wages for working 2 or 3 days a week,
fucking rudy johnson,
and you can call every business in malone to find out where that workplace is
if you want
to say bad things about rudy johnson
to get rudy johnson fired
in order to more speedily kill rudy johnson
or you might just send goons to rudy johnson’s house
to beat rudy johnson even more senseless
to beat rudy johnson stupider
to beat rudy johnson at chess, if they’re feeling generous
goons to break rudy johnson’s legs
like a moolie wishbone
“i wish plumbers & pipefitters local union 773
would send a guy
to fix the pipes
at hallam circle”
rudy johnson wishes on busted knees
tibias exposed
like rudy johnson’s crimes after a google search
(assuming the AI-generated one doesn’t find it quicker)
AI beating the game before you
STALKER
AI beating rudy johnson to a pulp
a higher-tech lynching
hire rudy johnson?
not after this they won’t
after this, the town is going to come pitchforks and all
to kill rudy johnson
rudy johnson will be like the beast in Beauty And...
and a faggot too
who has weird thoughts about belle
and being belle
and bell curves
rudy johnson is sitting there with busted shins
bleeding out
they have finally done the deed
the mission to kill rudy johnson
is complete
NEW GAME+
rudy johnson is back
weaker than ever
now every part of the game loop revolves around
how to save rudy johnson
you’re in the dungeon hacking up monsters
all the monsters are things that rudy johnson dislikes
games, poetry, time to reflect, et cetera
all rudy johnson’s bagginses laid out like the dwarves’ song in the rankin/bass hobbit movie
the song that segues into gandalf’s reflection
oooh that's what rudy johnson hates
better go back to your airship and save
if you want to save rudy johnson
rudy johnson is like a lemming in the 90’s strategy game
stop the many rudy johnsons that emerge
from jumping off the chateaugay bridge
by turning one of them into a cop
by handing one an umbrella
by telling one to count down from five, and watching the subsequent explosion
sometimes, letting rudy johnson explode is the only way
to save rudy johnson
maybe the best way to save rudy johnson
is to do it often
so you always have a copy of rudy johnson
in case someone gets it in their head to kill rudy johnson
for example, rudy johnson
whenever rudy johnson enters a new room
save rudy johnson
whenever rudy johnson plays russian roulette
with the two or three hobbies that fulfil rudy johnson
but also kill rudy johnson
save rudy johnson
BANG
whenever rudy johnson saves a file to the dropbox
well, you know
but you’d better make sure
when saving rudy johnson
that the game you’re playing isn’t some brainfuck exercise like Doki Doki Literature Club
(hint: it is)
where rudy johnson is manipulating
or otherwise thwarting or subverting or corrupting
your saves of rudy johnson
maybe you just have to get to a point
in your time with rudy johnson
where you’re given the right permissions
so you can have some hope of resetting your playthrough
allow rudy johnson’s brain time to de-worm
a little
temporarily
get another chance at dialogue with rudy johnson’s many sides,
‘sides, who doesn’t want to replay a game
where every character is rudy johnson
rudy johnson talking in a redneck voice
rudy johnson talking in a black voice
rudy johnson wearing a burqa
rudy johnson wearing a ski mask
rudy johnson wearing a fascist uniform
rudy johnson eating pizza (again)
rudy johnson eating deer
rudy johnson taking a hunter safety course (say this line like a bostonian jew)
rudy johnson taking a junta safety course (say this line like an estonian collaborator)
who the fuck is rudy johnson?
why would you want to save rudy johnson?
holy
fucking
shit
just
kill rudy johnson.
⚔️ Rudy Johnson (@lynchpoet) sent me a bio that would somehow get me canceled by you unfun weirdos and you don't get to read it. Kill Rudy Johnson. Long live Rudy Johnson.
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